A well-made parody by the sort of well known author KitTea
by KitTea
Summary: A detailed parody of the famous book Into the Wild by Erin Hunter who is actually many amazing people who are very talented writers. Rusty is this magnificent golden-orange, young tom who wants to explore the large, challenging forest that just so happens to be conveniently placed next to his den. *On hiatus*
1. Chapter 1

**I would like to give carifoo2001 a shout-out! Because of her I have learned about purple prose! Purple prose makes me laugh so hard...THANK YOU CARI. Anyway...**

Rusty, a small yet magnificent golden tom with sharp, forest green eyes, slowly rose from his bed that was the color of a forest after it had just rained for seven hours. He had just woken up from a wonderful dream about a dark grey mouse in the large, dark woods that he was about to hunt with his own dangerous, sharp, amazing claws.

He let out a small sigh that was similar to a quiet, small greenleaf breeze that blew across a smooth moor. Rusty blinked his curious, luscious forest green eyes. He decided that he wanted to explore the looming, dark, scary forest that was right next to his comfy, warm den that was fairly large.

Rusty padded at a slow yet progressive pace towards the medium sized cat flap that he used to enter and exit his wondrous home. He jumped through the hole as quickly as he could and found himself in what he thought his twolegs called a "garden".

There were flowers the color of the sky when the sun was almost finished setting, and some the color of water after it had been disturbed by things floating in its cool, calming water. The dirt underneath his soft paws was spongy and dark brown, similar to the color of newly made manure or dirt.

"Where is thou going?" Rusty lifted his small, slightly orange head.

"Oh...hello, Smudge." He said in a very unenthusiastic voice that betrayed that he was very annoyed with this newcomer that might have been some sort of friend of his since he was a very young and small kit.


	2. Chapter 2

**This is most certainly going to be an interesting parody...**

Smudge didn't seem to notice that his amazing "friend" Rusty was the tiniest bit miffed by the way he spoke, probably because he thought some of the words were either curse words and were offensive or he just couldn't understand what his "friend" was saying. So he just kept on talking like a river that kept on flowing even though a bunch of cats were trying to block it off the best they could.

"Thou looks so mighty todayeth." Smudge announced in a voice that was on volume ten (there are sixteen of the dot square thingies). He had a pelt of pitch black and white light and he looked suspiciously similar to what twolegs called "Oreos". His yellow eyes were the color of the blazing sun that lit up every single day and provided them with legitimate light, instead of the ridiculously false light twolegs used.

"Well, hello, Smudge. I'm gonna go ADVENTURING!" Rusty replied in a voice that sounded like the call of a male cardinal that was very hungry and was in the mood for a juicy worm straight from the brownish, manure-colored ground itself. He seemed eager to leave Smudge and go out into the woods, just like a mouse eager to leave a maze because it sensed that it was being used by the stupid, idiotic twolegs for something it didn't want to do.

Smudge pouted, his mouth changing into the shape of an upside-down number three (twoleg numerals), helvetica style. "Fine. Farewell, good friend." Smudge bowed his head respectfully, his pale white whiskers brushing the dirt-colored ground. He then lifted his magnificent black-fur-covered head. Smudge turned around, his fur making a light swishing sound that was similar to the sound of small leaves being shifted slightly by someone who was trying to sneak by without being noticed.

Rusty sighed again, his fish-smelling breath slightly rustling his strangely long, white whiskers. The relieved sigh sounded like the beautiful sigh of a very mammoth butterfly that was heard by someone.

He turned slowly to look with his intense forest (oak and maple trees only) green eyes at the large and undiscovered territory that was also known as the greenish scary-ish sort of creepy forest that had a lot of urban legends about cats living in Clans.

Rusty knew with his keen mind for a fact that they were false. There was no such thing as Clans that went by the names of ThunderClan, ShadowClan, WindClan, and RiverClan and that had their own territories and had very brutal histories and some disgraceful cats and that the Clans believed in StarClan (cat heaven) and the Dark Forest (cat hell).

Ridiculous!

He puffed out his strangely furry chest in an act of bravery and defiance and then leapt over the fence with graceful agility that most cats didn't have. He landed on the other side with a muted thud that was like when cats were running really fast but quietly; a lot of effort was put in it yet it was rendered useless.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"


	3. Chapter 3

Rusty looked up with the speed of a gazelle and saw with his own forest green eyes that a fairly small tom with damp yellow eyes (like a sponge that has not touched water yet) and gray fur (like a stone with a dark stripe that looked a shadow on a bitter cold leaf-bare day) was about to pounce on him like a giant sloth about to pounce on its favorite dish (leaves freshly grown on any beautiful tree in a luscious green forest that is partially humid).

He dodged very efficiently and swiftly out of the way, and the attacking gray-as-stone-in-the-middle-of-leaf-bare cat almost hit him with his astonishingly sharp looking weapons known as claws for cats.

"Well howdy I'm GRAYPAW!" Announced the newcomer in a rich southern accent. "I think it's mighty fine that we get to meet. Who're you, partner?" Graypaw obviously wanted to be a stereotypical 'cowboy' (twoleg term) that worked on a large ranch that owned lots of ranch dressing.

Rusty was as confused as a peacock in a flock of Giant Malaysian Apricots that looked strangely like mangos on the other side of the world and these apricots probably didn't exist but no one really cared.

"I thought that previously you were trying to bring great harm to my wonderful body!" Rusty exclaimed in a slightly high pitched and partially annoyed voice. "And am I the only one who speaks normally?"

"No," Graypaw the gray-as-a-stone-in-leaf-bare cat began. "My leader Bluest-"

"GRAYPAW!"

**Dun dun dun**


End file.
